Trust... I think my son was 13 years old when I realized he was not only computer savvy, but appreciated the female anatomy VERY WELL!! Lol, it was when I upgraded my computer and had an IT guy at the house that I first became aware of "Cookies", what it's function was and ALL that my firstborn was truly up to! When asked if I wanted to migrate my files, I immediately said yes; my poetry, several book ideas and treatments for Motion Picture were on my old computer, I didn't want to lose all that material. When I was shown the 10's of thousands of pornographic websites that my son had accessed and had strategically been hiding with the help of "cookies", I was shocked!! Ok, ok... maybe I wasn't shocked; I mean, secretly, I had begun to question my son's sexuality... He didn't express any interest in boys, but he didn't express any interest in girls either! I was quietly preparing my self for the unexpected. But when I saw the plethora of websites denoting women with "Big Asses", I was pretty clear about his choice then! Yes, I admonished him when he came home from school that day, and the look of sheer horror on his face upon realizing that I knew what he was up to, his discomfort about being confronted and the difficulty of keeping a straight face throughout it all was priceless. Imagine the ground opening up at that very moment, creating the largest hole known to man... my son would have gladly leapt into it at that moment and trying, successfully I might add, not to laugh, was hard but I managed!
Now, that was over 8 years ago... over the years, children have become experts on the computer. My daughter, who is now 11 years old, helps me with computer problems I have and deftly puts me back on track as good as any old IT professional could! ;-) We've discussed social networking pedophiles and the strict rule that she is prohibited from speaking to anyone online (Skype, IM, facebook, etc..) that is a stranger! In the 2 years that she has been navigating websites for entertainment purposes (Disney) socially and school stuff, I haven't had an issue yet. She religiously asks for permission to accept friend requests, (even if she does know the person, she'll ask) and I trust her not to do anything foolish, like offer information about where she lives, where she goes to school, etc.. The trust I have for her has nothing to do with the fact that I DO NOT trust people on the internet. But, I have to believe that with the instructions , warnings and knowledge that I've given her, she will make the right decisions. As the parent, my supervisory role is in full effect at all times, but I also give her the space she needs to explore... And besides, I know what "cookies" is now, so whether she knows it or not, she is ALWAYS being monitored!
My big question is this... when do we as parents cut those strings? At what age does cyber monitoring become down right intrusive? Honestly, shit I've said about my parents growing up was downright awful! The idea of reading what my children type freely over the Net about their hatred of me, at that moment in time anyway, is as unappealing to me as all those ridiculous websites my son as a teenager accessed! Besides, when my children weren't mad at me, and I wasn't angry with them any longer, it was all love... I'm not sure how long the anger would have continued, on my part anyway, had I read anything they may have shared in anger over the world wide web!
This isn't an admonishment to those parents who do keep a watchful eye on their children, regardless of age, over the Net, I'm just talking about me and my style; making sure teeth are brushed, chores are done and now that school has restarted, homework is understood and completed, I'm tapped out! Above all else, I want to encourage trust, love and communication with my children. If they'd rather share things with friends and family online than have a conversation with me, then I'm not doing something right. Live and let live, supervise, but don't control. Know that the tools you give your children everyday to become the citizens you want them to be are being adhered to, and if they aren't the signs will show up, trust me... As a matter of fact, don't trust me... try trusting them! Be well...
I don't just "Like it", I "LOVE IT"!!! I remember a playhouse set fragile built with cardboard in a haunted playhouse as they played. We know eachother don't we? wait stay in the scene! you are my enemy in this scene, but I don't want to hate you I want to make you smile - and remember the ghosts past, but the scene requires us to be bad people and hate eachother...I don't like this scene I want to stop but I can't break character Nema Williams
I don't just "Like it", I "LOVE IT"!!! The ELEPHANT still IN THE ROOM: can't Ignore it. But Dont Feed it. It wont go away and you might accidentally get stomped. ACKNOWLEDGE its presence. Make the elephant leave on its own by strategically partnering with an Animal Tamer and a Zoo Keeper. YOU BE THE MOUSE! Switch the status quo so the elephant has a ‘new experience’ and backs away.Janet Grier
I don't just "Like it", I "LOVE IT"!!! Give what you expect to receive, love how you expect to be loved, and live like you have a life worth living. Take a long look at in the mirror. Hold you accountable! ~Style Matters~- Shawn Lovings'
I don't just "Like it", I "LOVE IT"!!! Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgivethe nonsense of those who think they talk sense.~Robert Frost~ Janet Grier
I don't just "Like it", I "LOVE IT"!!! ....your daily ritual is creating your future reality regardless of your past ambition..... Asah Zilla
I don't just "Like it", I "LOVE IT"!!! REASONABLE: Separate the Good reason from the Real reason. They're typically not the same... Janet Grier
I don't just "Like it", I "LOVE IT"!!! "The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." ~Victor Hugo~ shared by Angelique Worth
I don't just "Like it", I "LOVE IT"!!! I finally found it....I finally get it....I finally understand! How freeing it is.....Graceann Rivera
I don't just "Like it", I "LOVE IT"!!! Constructive criticism is about finding something good and positive to soften the blow to the real critique to what really went on. Every person has their true and certain value. Praise and criticism doesn't change any of that. Only the work itself praises and criticizes the person. The trouble with a lot of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. Rick DaBarba
I don't just "Like it", I "LOVE IT"!!! I know sometimes we look at the youth and see the senseless crimes they commit and say that the youth have gone crazy. Well these are the fruit from our collective tree. So if there's a problem with the fruit, we better go to the root and check the tree. Mark Goggins
I don't just "Like it", I "LOVE IT"!! Lee Fuller shares this: "The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." - William James
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