So, I had a date last week. I thought we had a great time, but 2 days later, still no call from him... Hmmmm! He was younger, in his early to mid 30's I presume, but old enough to know that he should've called, right? Funny, I had this overwhelming urge to pull him by the ear and admonish him like a child, but called my 20 year old son instead. I find myself doing that more times than I care to admit, but I consider all the little missteps Men make with me as a learning experience to share with my son on what not to do where women are concernd.
I guess that's why the idea of becoming a "Cougar" is so unappealing. The last thing I want to do is have the constant feeling of "Class being in session" and that my "job" is to "school" the Man who I'm, possibly, going to sleep with. Not school him in the sexual sense (I hope!), but in the Gentlemanly one.
When I was 14 years old I watched a scene in a movie that changed my thought process. In this scene, this one Man called another Man a gentleman and a scholar. In his perception, the Man imagined the the other Man was being facetious and immediately considered things such as; pulling out chairs for a lady, holding the car door open, proper table etiquette, and so much more, as a sign of class and superiority. However, the Man corrected him. No Sir, all those things are a sign of respect, not only for the person you're gracing these good manners on, but for the people around you as well. Not only did this scene resonate, but for me, it has been a barometer of what being gentleman-like truly entails. All the niceties I perform and good manners I've displayed since have been more about respect and less about airs. It's what I learned, what I continue to teach my children and what I would be compelled to teach others; only giving the Man I may be romantically involved with "blocks of instruction" in this matter is not HOT!!!
Now, about that situation last week, I think I may be more "old-fashioned" than I thought! Boy meets woman, boy and woman connect, boy and woman date. Date goes very well, boy doesn't call?? A couple of days go by, and not hearing from the "young" lad, had me a little... disappointed? He is VERY attractive and it pleased me to look at him... "... combination; style, body, physique OH LAWD"!!! Sorry, as I was saying; do Men not call and say "Hey there, I had a great time last night... blah, blah, blah..." anymore? Even if the possibility of a second date was out of the question, I think it's in poor taste for a Man not to make the perfunctory call and at the very least, wish the lady well. Of course my feelings weren't hurt; with age comes priorities, a newfound level of understanding and stability; all of which "young dude" had very little concept of. This isn't a slight or a bad thing, just a fact. I was not affected, but I did want to give him a heads up on what should probably almost always happen after a date, especially a good one. Make the call SON! ;-) Now as a modern woman of the times, there's nothing wrong with me making the call, but I tread a little lightly due to the"Cougar/Cub" dynamic. I'm not the predatory type and leaving the ball in his court was, admittedly, passive aggressive, but it's the way I decided to handle it... Help me out everyone, was I wrong? It's just too much!! (Please refer now to my "Happily Single Blog!! lol)
The complexities of dating notwithstanding, good manners are always a good idea and when you're considering other people and the level of respect you have for them, showing these good manners will come as naturally as breathing and you don't need an old lady like me to tell you that! Be well...
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